Blogs > BobLee Says > February 2012

Karl Goes KooKoo.... & other stories

Feb 20:  It had been a terrific day.  I was seated in Sec 109; Row R in Dean’s Dome - Primo Fat Cat Country..... with special pals.  Earlier I was with an Old Trenchfighter and an engaging guy via Tulsa by the name o’ Bubba.  The Clem-streak was safe.  THEN my iPhone started buzzing crazily as dozens of frantic e-mails poured in.   Hess.... Ref.... Corch.... Guggs.... RBC in riot mode.... ??? HUH ???

My latest column on chapelboro was about “I was there” sports episodes.  At 6:30 PM on Feb 18 we got us a brand new one?  Over 248,000 hard-core Wolfpack fans will be able to pass polys that “they were there” when “that a**hole Karl Hess, under direct orders from Swofford, threw Corch and Guggs out of the RBC”. 

Within the first 24 hours I have heard from about 67,000 of’em.

Assuming you’ve all seen the video, you know as much as I know about whatever happened with 6:40 to go in a routine game on Saturday last.  In the space of thirty seconds, veteran ACC referee Karl Hess joined retired ACC Football referee Jim Knight as the only zebras to have bounties placed on their heads in The Brickyard; at Amedeo’s and at Two Guys Pizza.

A small faction of WuffNation is permanently unhinged under the most benign of circumstances.  There is nuthin’ “benign” about the bizarre circumstances that KooKoo Karl has unleashed.   I have contacted Wolfpackers that I knew “were there” and likely seated in the RBC lower level.  They all saw “it” but none are sure exactly what “it” was they saw.


IF Corch & Guggs had sneaked up on Karl Hess and blindsided him with tire irons; beating him into raw hamburger, in full view of 18,000 fans; that faction of unhinged Wuffs would defend “their heroes” as justified under a century old paranoia payback.  But Corch & Guggs did NOT do any such thing.

Slightly more rational Wuffs are quoting The Bill Of Rights, Magna Carta and The Prelude To The Canterbury Tales for all the rights & privileges that Karl Hess violated.  Under Hammurabi's Code, Hess is subject to being boiled in oil.  Who knew?

No matter how thin the pancake, it does have two sides.   By Monday there will be an official statement on “it” by Little Johnny Swofford.   Unless Johnny publicly beheads Hess with a scimitar, nuthin’ he does will satisfy the Brickyard mob.  If Little Johnny performs hari-kari on himself with a box-cutter a handful of Wuffs will say “OK, that’s fair enough.”  Maybe a handful.

Frau Yow is even being criticized for not “poppin’ a cap” on Hess right then and there.

There will be an official comment from Karl Hess unless he is already in some Central American dictatorate with no extradition treaty with Wuff-Nation.   I can not imagine how Hess will even attempt to justify what has to be the worst over-reaction to “rabbit ears” in ACC history.   This act was so stoopid my first thought was "check Dickie Baddour's alibi".

While we await whatever ACC officials will / will not say or do..... the knee-jerking reactions of WuffNation is off the chart. 

Immediate Secession From The ACC is apparently “a given” for the more terminally rabid Wuffikins.  Like a pouty kid packing a gym bag to run away from home after being denied dessert, the ACC Secessionists have no clue where they might go; but go they sure will by golly.  

The Norris Division of The NHL is apparently a possibility.   An exploratory letter to ECU about forming a Super Conference with Campbell, Elon and Appy State is being faxed to Terry Holland.

As for The SEC, their Commish Mike Slive did issue this statement:  “If NC State thinks they were short-sheeted in the ACC,  they ain’t seen nuthin’.  Ask Mississippi State and Vanderbilt the last time they got a favorable call in the last 2:00 of a close game.  Sure, our schools would love a new punching bag.”

A spokesman for the Center For Disease Control in Atlanta has declared this latest strain of Lupine Paranoia to be “potentially lethal” and likely to remain so for a minimum of 35 years.

I WILL be in the lower level of The RBC this coming Tuesday when Royz Boyz come to visit.  I wouldn’t miss it.  Corch & Guggs are scheduled to be honored.   The mind reels.

Instead of Corch & Guggs, if it had been two buck-teethed goobers with bad haircuts from Harnett County, the bounty on Hess’ head would be $8.56.  But it WAS Corch & Guggs!   As noted.... from what I have gleaned, this incident qualifies as:

“one of the gosh-darnedest I’ve ever seen” 
(not involving Roy)

As a chronicler of incredibly bizarre stuff, I don’t even know whom to thank for this one.

***

As noted up top; the much anticipated meeting of BobLee and Bubba has now taken place.  I was already high on this guy.  Now I am positively giddy.   He is the real deal, oozing all the qualities essential in a successful administrator.  “Not from around here” is just one of the much-needed qualities Bubba Cunningham brings to the UNC AD office.    ADs don't save the world, but this man WILL make a positive difference in the byzantine little world of UNC Athletics.

I asked Bubba if he knew the second verse of Hark The Sound and he replied “Hark What?”  I hugged him right there at Top Of The Hill.   True story.  Ask Bill Dooley.  Olde Trenchfighter was standing beside us.

A pretty busy Saturday.

Posted: 2/19/2012 7:02:58 PM by BobLee | with 24 comments


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Comments
BobinKC
BL I hope you realize that Raleigh is not the only center of discontent in the ACC over the blue bias coming from Greensboro. There is also a compelling statistical analyis (by one of my fellow Wuffies, of course) that would seem to support the theory: .... http://www.statefansnation.com/index.php/archives/2012/02/17/just-incase-you-missed-it-officiating/ ................................. ................................................. .............. BL: I don't doubt all that at all. But I also believe in the Tri-Lateral Commission and Oswald Acted Alone, so maybe I'm not the best one to ask. ... I'm all for Lee Fowler as the new ACC Commish. ....................... .............................................. ..................
2/19/2012 8:12:17 PM
JDanWuff
That Googs-Corch ejection by Karl Hess ranks as the all-time dumbest move I've ever witnessed. There may be others that have happened that I've not been privy to, but his takes the cake. I have no idea what he was thinking, but it was about as wrong as it comes. Maybe those refs are overworked. Maybe his wife was PO-ed with him about something. Maybe the dog ate his homemade pan cakes at breakfast. Whatever, he now has become a "marked man" in Wuffdom. ... I wish some of monkeys would understand that the Gott Father is bringing us back to some level of respectability and it ain't gonna be overnight. But when we start winning close games and not getting blown out at home by F$U, the calls might appear to go our way.... As for leaving the ACC, why? We're getting better in basketball and have punked our non-"rival" 5 times in a row. Our baseball program is solid. Raz Hess' butt to the ceiling the next time he shows up in the ESA. Make him throw the whole crowd out. But leave the conference. No way. It's to much fun making the Blues worry about when THAT day comes. ...................................... ...................................................... ............................. BL: The Big East could always use a 25th member. IT was a horrible "call" by Hess. If Little Johnny "had a pair" he would fire him ASAP. But he won't. ............................. .....................................................
2/19/2012 8:20:05 PM
Dr Wire
So there I was in section 106 shaking my head at 33 minutes of poor execution, soft defense, awful shooting and another game with weird officiating, when suddenly the damnedest thing happened, after a foul call by one ref one of the other refs walks over from the far side of the court to the scorers table and points at these two guys. The look on those guys face was worth the lost Saturday. It was surreal and for a few minutes you could forget that FSU had their foot on our throat. But like many things in life, reality resumed as did the poor execution, soft defense, awful shooting and weird officiating. ............................... .................................................. .................................................. ...... BL: very very strange indeed .............. .................................................. ................
2/19/2012 9:59:21 PM
NCSU68Grad
Had the wife, daughter and 5 YO GD at the RBC in our seats in the CC. Had to make a pit stop after the game and, er, wait for a stall. When I got out, my daughter had taken the GD into the adjoining Club suite to let her look around and entertain her. When I walked into the club, my daughter was talking to a couple. The gentlemen was seated (his job not to be revealed) at the table DIRECTLY in front of Chris and Googs. He was explaining to his wife and my daughter that HE saw or neard nothing (Maybe SS re-incarnated). He seemed to have MORE sincerity in his comments, so we will accept them on face value. He, paraphrased, said that they were NOT loud, NOT pofane, NOT boisterous, NOT drunk, NOT whatever. He also said that the fans and crowd around them were probably MORE hostile. He saw Ref. Hess (now according to Tudor wearing a DUNCE hat) come over and repeatedly told the RPD officer that HE had summoned to OUST them. Now, I KNOW that you probably glossed over the NCAA rule, but RBC and/or NCSU was supposed to handle this and unless they were urinating in public or doing some other dastardly act, be given a warning and/or "handled". We have SINCE found out the Ref. Hess is suffering from RTRWS (Roy Two Rings Williams Syndrome. This manifests itself in one thinking he is GOD in his own little kingdome. It also impacted a community organizer on the second Wednesday (Nov 2008) and he has NOT shown any progress in his treatment. Contrary to popular belief, Frau Yow has NOT ordered a HIT on Ref. Hess, but suffice it to say that festivities have been planned for the upcoming UNC game and she will also "pursue other avenues" with Herr Swofford and his cronies. Ref. Hess has also been called about everything imaginable from the writers and commentators and is about as popular as Bobby Brown was at Whitney's funeral. ............................................................... ........................................................................ ................. BL: Blaming it on Dumplin and Obama sure works for me. .... BTW: TJ Yates was CHEERED in Dean's Dome Saturday ................. ......................................................................
2/19/2012 10:00:44 PM
BobinKC
LF would be a better commish than Swofford - which, of course, doesn't say much for either of them! ........................................... ................................................. ........................... BL: I think Little Johnny should show up Tues night and present Governor Bev with a plaque at halftime... just to see what happens. ...............................
2/19/2012 10:28:22 PM
Col. Mosby
Karl Hess needs to take Harry Truman's advice: "If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen." As many times as Hess has refereed games with Coach K on the sidelines, one would think Hess would be used to taking criticism of his calls. When was the last time you saw K ejected from a game , much less from a building for riding the refs? I'm glad Hess doesn't work as a baseball umpire. No fan sitting behind home plate would be safe. ........... ............................................................ ......................................... BL: There HAS to be more to all this. ......................................
2/19/2012 11:08:46 PM
58 Wolf Kennel
BobLee, You have the right indignation. Had a long talk with Yow Sunday afternoon. She is angry, but controlled. Things in the works. My understanding (not from her) is that Hess is a former All -American guard at Liberty from the early 80's who was first person in their Hall of Fame. Maybe jealousy is Hess' problem. My sister days you better behave yourself Tuesday night. ............... ..................................................... ..................................................... ............ BL: I am a paragon of politeness - as you well know! ......................................
2/19/2012 11:35:46 PM
oldwuf vet
Excellent analysis. This incident will be retold at Wuff gatherings for generations to come. All we needed was more evidence to prove all of our conspiracy theories! I was working and missed the game but received texts from the college boy-who usually sits 20 feet from where Googs and Corch were. No doubt he and his student friends routinely yell more objectionable things. Reminded me of one of Jimmy V's quips: "I asked a ref if he could give me a technical foul for thinking bad things about him. He said, of course not. I said, well, I think you stink. And he gave me a technical. You can't trust em."... Hess must wear ear plugs when he is working Cameron Indoor and the Comcast Center. .................. ......................................................... ...................................... BL: To be told and retold for many many decades for sure, .................. ........................................................
2/20/2012 12:03:51 AM
SWVAUNCer
Do you think Hess knew he was throwing out two heroes who had jerseys hanging in the rafters? If not, he's too dumb to be on ANY BB court. Any true ACC BB fan could recognize those two now, Wuffies or not. I think a just punishment would be banning him to be Dick Vitale's errand boy at all Duke games. ............... ...................................................... ...................................................... ............ BL: Lou Bello would have jumped over the scorer's table and planted juicy kisses on both Corch & Guggs ... I miss Lou ............................... ......................................................
2/20/2012 6:28:07 AM
YogiNC
Bobbie, "I'm all for Lee Fowler as the new ACC Commish". My first cup covered my monitor screen. I swear some of your stuff should come with a disclaimer first. I've a been a watchin' ACC basketball since the pilot was sailin' a dingy. I've seen some of the best basketball ever played and some of the worst, Saturday was the later. Of all of the head scratchers that one took the Head and Shoulders award of the century(last century included). I can see it now, this will surely spread to at least 15 miles down the road. The Cameron Crazies are surely plotting something that no doubt may send karly boy over the edge. I visualize tons of rabbit ears and carrots, but then they will outdo that no doubt, that is one ingenious bunch when it comes to figerin' how to get under a target's skin. If karly thinks this will just "go away" he really doesn't understand the psyche of a 19 year old college student, much less their dads and moms. Stay tuned, film at 11. ........................................... ....................................................... ....................................................... .... BL: I would agree if "The Crazies" were still The Crazies of the 90s... but they aren't. A combination of PC-scrubbing and Duke's student body being turned into a United Nations Day Camp. Clever taunts aren't taught in The Punjab ......................................... .......................................................
2/20/2012 7:38:36 AM
PittCounty
Canterbury Tales and "Dickie's alibi"... ANOTHER keyboard shot to hell. I believe YOU mastermind these things just for column fodder. ........... ................................................ ...................... BL: "MOI" ???? .......... ......................................................................
2/20/2012 7:53:11 AM
JDanWuff
What's the running total of "eye witnesses" up to now, BL? Have we exceeded 100,000 yet? ............................. .................................. ........ BL: Expected to hit six figures by tip-off Tuesday night. .. ..................................
2/20/2012 8:19:35 AM
UncleRon
Here is the best post mortem I have heard so far. Whether it is true at this point is of course only important if it is funny... According to my sister, who was not there, she heard from one of the seven million who were there, that the line Hess attempted to get the students thrown out for was "Hey Hess, stop watching the dancers!". ........... ................................................... ...................................... BL: "if it is true" is NEVER a criteria when fan hysteria is involved. ........................................ .................................
2/20/2012 8:23:32 AM
Monroe
Right now Brother Hess, maybe for the first time ever, fully understands what Mark Twain meant after being tarred and feathered when he said, “If it hadn’t been for the honor of the thing, I’d just as soon not even been there.” ........................ ................................................... .................. BL: One wonders what a Karl Hess thinks about anything. ............................ ...................................................
2/20/2012 9:06:02 AM
TJ
Bob this is a true story, I swear on a gallon of sweet tea... Bruce Benedict the former A Braves catcher now refs in the SEC. When Duke with JJ Reddick was playing one of the Mississippi schools Coack K started getting on Benedict just after tip off. "Hey Ref, watch Reddick, they are mugging him", "Hey Ref, give Reddick a break, he has been hammered every time he gets the ball." ... Benedict had enough and at the second TV time out walked over to Coach K and under his breath said, "Coach, what number if this Reddick kid, I will keep my eyes on him." Benedict said Coack K did a double take and then had to laugh or he would have exploded. Wish Karl Hess had this much presence of mind and sense of humor. .. ..................................................... ....................................... BL: "A sense of humor" would benefit A LOT of people in sports AND A LOT of fans too. .................................... ........................................
2/20/2012 10:12:14 AM
58 Wolf Kennel
This came off the PackPride boards but is just too good to pass up. When asked what got Corch and Googs kicked out, Scott Wood said he heard they said, "Go Pack". ............... ............................................... ............................................... .... BL: The phrase "came off the PackPride boards" has preceded some of history's most astounding comments. A true petri dish for studying abby-normal behavior. ............... .............................................. ..................
2/20/2012 10:32:20 AM
Walt-in-Durham
Roy just got pushed of the goofy front page by a Ref no less. It's time to pull out the Jayhawk sticker!... Walt-in-Durham ........ ........................................... ........................................... ...... BL: Maybe Roy will show up Tuesday night with a "I Love Corch" t-shirt ??? ... ...........................................
2/20/2012 10:44:44 AM
thailand
.....Miss old Lou B. .....Running down the court at Carmichael Gym one night years ago, Lou ran by a glaring Dean Smith and bent down to pat the angry coach's knee, saying "Don't worry coach, 'we're' going to win." ...................................... ................................................. .............. BL: Such irreverence would get him SHOT today. Sports is now Life & Death. Except here. ........ .................................................
2/20/2012 11:01:15 AM
CinVA
Hess is from here and while I have never met him my friends that know him say he is an arrogant jerk. The type of guy who never says hello at the YMCA even though you see them everyday ect. What is really comical is that he is a Marriage and Family Counselor. Sound like he needs to see one. ....... ................................................... ................................................... .... BL: Hess an Arrogant Jerk ????? I"M SHOCKED !!! ............................................... ...................................................
2/20/2012 12:02:27 PM
uva-wahoo
BLS: Remind me ... did either Corch or Googs GRADUATE from NC State?uva-wahoo ..... ............................................ .......................... BL: Better ask TP. I would guess Yes w/ Corch... probably not w/ Googs. .............................. ............................................
2/20/2012 4:21:33 PM
RowdyBlueTarHeeler
...ghost of Dick Paparo is resurected in Rawlee... call your next case. ....................... .................................. ..... BL: Every decade has its "most hated referee" ............. ..................................
2/20/2012 5:09:35 PM
Old MacDonald
It's 5:30 and still nothing from the ACC/Swoff/Hess...other than that ridiculous non-statement from Clougherty Saturday night. Featherston/DBR has the best thing I have read on this topic. -- ..... ................................... .................................. .............BL: I guess Johnny is trying to stonewall. Frau and Randy may have to "Occupy Grandover" to get his attention. NOT the ACC's finest hour. ....... ..................................
2/20/2012 5:27:25 PM
Texas Tar Heel
Code of Hammurabi . . . now you're talking "old school" justice! The NCAA could learn a thing or two from that. Always love the obscure knowledge transfer! .................... ................................................ ......................................... BL: Obscure knowledge transfer has been a trademark of BLSays from Day One. It helps scare off the board monkeys. ................................. ................................................
2/20/2012 6:15:52 PM
Bigwuf
Where is Bones McKinney when we need him? Oh, well, I commend the Gottfather's commentary on Monday night ... if you can find it. Every video copy would get pulled down as fast as it was put up; however, the audio conveys a nice sense of the absurdity of it all... in a way that avoids the usual constraints of ACC-fearing coach-speak. . . As for any view that the black helicopter/alumnimum-foil-hat crowd are the only ones who might just risk the MSU/Vanderbilt fate in that den of academic perdition, the SEC, there are a disturbingly large number of Gamecock types who seem to be more convinced with each passing year that they were right to leave the ACC and that they get a better shake where they are -- or, at least, feel like they do. But then, who has $20M to toss after something that we are know would be crazy.... ............................... ....................................................... ............ BL: SoCarol is riding Spurrier's Farewell Tour these days. Can they continue SEC relevance in a post-Spurrier Era ??? ................. .....................................................
2/22/2012 6:31:42 PM
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