Storms of Controvery Brewin'

2/24/2010 9:13:55 AM

..... More madcap silliness from ESPN ….. weinie-throwing mascots …. School boards accept challenge from HOAs …… Roy2Schools chases history …..  AND A Historic TRI-Partisan Commission Meets “beneath the rafters”! 

   Tony “Komb-over” Kornheiser creates fire-“storm” with attack on Hannah …..  You’ve probably seen this one from those krazy kats at ESPN.  PTI co-host (the white guy) Tony “am I clever or what” Kornheiser added his contribution to the ever-growing “sophomoric screw-ups” at ESPN this week.  …… Tony, for reasons still unclear, unloaded on fellow ESPNer Hannah Storm last week on his radio show.

     He criticized her “horrifying outfit” with “red go-go boots and a school girl plaid skirt way too short for somebody her age.  Is she 50 yet”.  He added the kicker “She’s a Holden Caulfield fantasy at this point.”  (NOTE:  That’s “Caulfield” not Thorp and relates to Catcher In The Rye’s coming of age character.  It was not intended as a compliment.).  He also used the phrase "sausage-casing" which, unless one is doing a story on Johnsonville Brauts, is never meant complimentary.

    Tony was promptly suspended from PTI for two weeks and publicly admonished by whichever ESPN execu-suit is in charge of admonishing their stable of overly-caffeinated frat boys.  The artistic merits of Kornheiser’s Ron Burgundy impression is lost in the confusion of “why would he say something like that about a colleague.”  Torrette Tony has apologized on-air.   ESPN plans a follow-up statement blaming it all somehow on Rush. 

    ESPN has a history of hiring folks expressly to offer "provocative opinions" and encouraging them to do so ..... then telling them where "the line" is AFTER they cross it.  That is a form of Russian Roulette.

     Across the nation, EVERY story on this incident mention the obvious fact that "he's  ugly .... she's pretty .... so we're on her side."   Works for me.  I had a peripheral involvement with Bre'r Kornheiser a few years ago.  I was very unimpressed.  If that negativity comes thru here, it was intended to do so.
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    Speaking of sausage casings ..... did you know that the Kansas City Royals have a lion mascot named Sluggerrrr?  I didn’t and I’m the one person outside the Royals’ area code that actually sort of follows the hapless team.  Well ….. last season (Sept 8) Sluggerrrr was “standing on the 3d base dugout and throwing wieners into the stands” (???)

…… AND wouldn’t ya know it,  one of Sluggerrr’s wieners, taa-da, hit a fan in the left eye detaching his retina and giving him a psychological fear of flying wieners.  The one-eyed traumatized fan is now suing Sluggerrr and The Royals for “not teaching their mascot the proper method of throwing wieners into the stands”.

    Since he was once employed by these same Royals, this one might be blamed on El Rushbo too.  Other than noting the sad fact that that fan’s left eye was the first thing ANY Royal has “hit” since George Brett retired in the mid-80s ….. I have nothing else to add to this one.
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   Remember me saying that School Boards and HomeOwner Assns are the purest forms of repudiation of Darwinian Evolution?  Attend any meeting of either in your area and you will see why monkeys claim no kinship with mankind.  No SNL writer could ever top those grim displays of humankind at its basest level.

   Men and women are never more over-the-top absurd than when they take themselves oh-so-seriously and they never do so with more passion than at a school board or homeowners assn meeting.   Maybe it’s the punch, maybe it's the cookies, maybe it’s Robert’s Rules of Order.  The quite impassioned townspeople of Raleigh are in rare form these days.

    Raleigh had a school board election recently.  In keeping with recent American tradition, very few folks bothered to vote except the ones wanting “change”.  In this case it was change away from the death grip of pointy-teethed diversity-obsessed nitwits.  The “new breed” won of course ….. sending the pointy-teethed diversity-obsessed self-absorbed nitwits into pointy-teethed nitwit rage.  Sending nitwits into full nitwittity is more fun than pouring salt on a slug.

    The hapless superintendent (ALL school supts are “hapless”) was an administrative tool of the pointy-teethed nitwits so he promptly declared he could not work under the new regime.  No problemo …. EXCEPT he wants to be paid to not do so thru June.  If that sounds foolish you haven’t attended a public school board meeting lately.

   His name is Del so one of his raging nitwit co-horts “created a Facebook page” called Del’s Army to support his efforts to extort $100,000 from the cash-strapped school district for not working for them thru June.  “Creating a Facebook page” is the 2010 equivalent of standing on the sidewalk in the rain holding a crudely-lettered misspelled poster and yelling obscenities at passing cars.  

    Who says we are not advancing as a society?
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    For any of you UNC BB fans who have not completely disavowed this year’s team, and might be attending tonight’s (Wed) Dean Domer vs Florida State ….. you will see HISTORY made.  America’s very first TRI-Partisan Commission will be assembled at court-side. ….. TRI-partisan ???

    Indeed ….. a certain slightly bruised Democrat of some repute ….. a roguish Republican of cyber-legend ….. and the most notorious Libertarian on the Duke faculty will unite to try and pull Ol’ Roy’s sorry butt out of it’s current death spiral. ..... this unholy alliance has been tentatively labeled "Two Smart Guys & One Smart Ass".   Hopefully Ramses will NOT throw a weiner at us.

    With Ol’ Roy’s former Jayhawks only 2 AllTime Ws behind Ol’ Roy’s current Tar Heels the plight of the local hoopsters has reached “dire”.  In a perfect world Roys Boyz would have passed Kentucky before Christmas, busted that 2,000 Win barrier and be sailing on to glory.  In case ya haven’t noticed “perfect world” ain’t exactly the way this season will go down in the history books.

   The Lawrence crowd is primed to leapfrog “us” into 2nd place behind Kentucky before the March winds doth blow.  The only pride straw left to grasp is being the 2nd program to record 2,000 all-time Ws.  We need two ASAP somehow some way.  Kansas is two behind us.  That afore-mentioned TRI-partisan Commission will do it’s darnedest to assist in that endeavor this very evening.

    On a final Pollyanna-ish note ….. the one bright spot about all the double-digit butt-whuppin’s this year is that even the looniest of the CaroLoonies are not “blamin’ the refs”.
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